Tara Sullivan

and my usual motto, life is full of surprises

One year ago today, my best friend, Deborah Joy, passed away gracefully after a short and brutal bout of cancer. After decades of friendship, I always thought we would grow old together. In fact it was part of my plan.

I met Deborah Joy at the second retreat I ever attended. My first retreat, led by the same teacher, was a surprise, I was invited last minute and had no idea what to expect. It’s hard to describe what I remember, but I went home totally transformed and it took me some time to re-integrate into my life. I made friends that I still have to this day. I experienced some things that I could not logically understand: difficulties became effortless, stuck things shifted, my outlook was fresh and exciting. My creativity was unlocked, my mind was clear. This lasted for some time, it was not fleeting or random.

I discovered that this was what happened at retreats. My experience wasn’t unique. Over the years I attended and later organized dozens of retreats, I couldn’t count how many, but I can track lots of my own life events around these islands in the big sea of life. I have always gained insights into life and existence that have given me clarity, purpose, and perspective.

Most of you know I have lived in many places around the world. Every one of them is somewhere I visited in the context of a retreat.

Deborah Joy loved retreats too and we attended many more together after we met. I know these times deepened and accelerated our friendship in ways that may not have happened otherwise. She was planning to attend my Crete retreat last year, and before we learned that she wouldn’t live until then, she told me she could see that she wouldn’t be able to attend. That moment of gut-wrenching disappointment seems absurd in the face of a terminal illness, but I know that we both felt it.

This is why I lead retreats. I still have this experience of something profound happening from the moment we all gather. I learn so much, and I cherish the connections with everyone adventurous enough to come spend a week together. If this speaks to you, please reach out. I would love to share a week, and who knows what else: inspiration, healing, transformation, or even decades of friendship.